My grandfather was a Methodist minister and preached in Ohio, Illinois, Wisconsin, Idaho, Washington and California. My dad was a deep sea diver and brought the family to Southern California and Alaska. My uncle Carl was a journalist and settled with his family near Chicago. Because of these geographic differences I never got too close with the only first cousins I have – Jennifer, Jeff and Lee.
About the last time the whole family got together was in Seattle around 1957 a year before I was born as shown in this photo. Left to right: Uncle Carl, Grandma Cecile Belle, Grandpa Oscar, Aunt Pat, Jeff, Cindy, Lee Ann, Mom and Dad.
I wanted to change that so Padma, Joe, Mom, Cindy and I took a three-day road trip to my cousin Jennifer’s house just west of Chicago in St Charles.
Since the last family picture in 1957 there have been some losses and gains in the family. Dad, Uncle Carl, Aunt Pat, Grandpa and Grandma have all passed away. We tried to re-create the family pic using the four still with us and using a few others as stand-ins for our dearly departed. Left to right: Dan (Jen’s husband filling in for Uncle Carl), Sandy (filling in for Grandma), Joseph (filling in for Grandpa), Jen (filling in for Aunt Pat), Jeff (playing himself), Mom (playing herself), Mike (playing his dad), Lee Ann (playing herself) and Cindy (playing herself).
There was one stand-in however who is very special to us. My grandfather, Rev Oscar Michael Adam, grew up in Cincinnati in the late 1890s and early 1900s with his four siblings. Oscar left Cincy after finishing his theology degree and never returned to live there. As a result, his grandchildren never really got to know their cousins and great aunts and uncles. When my dad died in 2001, I received the family bible and found names in the book which I didn’t recognise. I wrote to Uncle Carl and he told me of our Ohio cousins who I never knew existed. Carl had lost track of his cousins but remembered enough of their names that I was able to find my cousin Shirley English by Google. That opened the floodgates and soon we were re-connected with our lost family. Shirley passed my email to my second cousin, Sandy White, and for the past 12 years or so Sandy and I have corresponded by email and Facebook but had never met. Until now. When Sandy heard we’d be at Jen’s in St Charles she didn’t hesitate and said she’d be there to meet us despite the 6-hour drive from her home near Cincy. Meeting Sandy would have to rank as one of my greatest reunions ever. We are family and we share so much history and yet for 50 years of my life that connection was lost.
The last time I saw my first cousin, Lee Ann, was in 1968 in Seal Beach California when we gathered for Grandpa and Grandma’s 50th wedding anniversary. Except for some ‘Say hi to Lee Ann’ messages via her sister Jen and daughter Erynn, I had lost contact with her since she doesn’t use computers and I have lost the art of writing letters. When she greeted us on arrival to Jen’s house I had absolutely no idea who she was at first as I haven’t seen a photo of her since she was a teenager. Immediately we all had regrets for being so distant. Cindy and Lee Ann were able to share long forgotten stories about Cecile Belle and Oscar. For me it felt so strange to hear someone else refer to Ceci and Mike as grandma and grandpa.